Never Eat Alone

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrozzi. He has a blog.

This book I thought was going to be awful and unoriginal turned out ok. He copied a lot of the concepts from every other famous networking book: 7 Habits, Dale Carnegie, etc. Not a bad summery of the networking industry though, and definitely worth reading if you haven't read the others.

  • The Mind Set
    • Becoming a member of the club
      • Where are the places you go to meet the kind of people who could most impact your life?
      • Nothing came close to the impact of mentors
      • The real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful
    • Don't Keep Score
      • Until you become as willing to ask for help as you are to give it, however, you are only working half the equation
      • Where employees once found generosity and loyalty in the companies we worked for, today we must find them in a web of our own relationships
      • He thought of relationships as finite, like a pie that can only be cut into so many pieces. Take a piece away and there was that much less for him. I knew however that relationship are more like muscles, the more you work them, the stronger they become
    • Not "how can you help me?" but "how can I help you?"
    • Relationships are solidified by trust
    • Bottom line: it's better to give before you receive. And never keep score. If your interactions are ruled by generosity your rewards will follow suit.
  • What's your Mission
    • "would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, said the Cat. "I don't much care where" said Alice "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat
    • The more specific you are about what you want to do, the easier it becomes to develop a strategy to accomplish it.
    • Key is to make a setting goals a habit. If you do that, goal setting becomes a part of your life. If you don't it withers and dies.
    • Step one: find your passion
    • A goal is a dream with a deadline
    • Look inside
      • Important about conducting an internal review is to do so without constraints, doubts, fears, and expectations of what you "should" be doing
      • Dreams and goals (make list)
      • All the things that bring me joy and pleasure, the achievements, people, and things that move me
    • Look outside
      • Ask the people who know you best what they think your greatest strengths and weaknesses are. Ask them what they admire about you and what areas you may need help in
  • Step Two - putting goals to paper
  • Connecting the goals to the people, places, and things that will help you get the job done. Determine the best way to reach out to the people who will help you accomplish your goals.
  • Connecting with others really just involves having a predetermined plan and carrying it out, whether you want to be a ninth-grade history teacher or start your own business.
  • Goals must be in writing. Have a conviction to put your intentions to paper. An unwritten wish is just a dream. In writing, it’s a commitment, a goal.
  • Goals must be specific, measurable, have a due date, be believable, be challenging and demanding,
  • Take action
  • Step three - create a board of advisors
  • Build it before you need it
  • Know that you must reach out to others long before you need anything at all
  • Start finding future clients today. Had he thought about what kind of industry he wanted to be in? Had he thought about where the top people in that industry hang out? Next step is to go hang with this group of people
  • Get to know these people as friends, not potential customers
  • Volunteer your time to a nonprofit organization they're involved in, or aid in publicizing a school fundraiser their kids are involved in
  • Once you've got an established client that will provide references and create some word of mouth you're halfway home
  • But to be constantly creating the environment and community you want for yourself, no matter what may occur.
  • Offer out knowledge and work ethic to small companies, learn about new industries, references and contacts when we graduated
  • It's easiest to reach out to those people who are at least tangentially part of your network
  • But the first step has nothing to do with strangers, you should start connecting with the people you do know.
  • The genius of audacity
  • I remind myself how people with a low tolerance for risk whose behavior is guided by fear, have a low propensity for success
  • Mustering the audacity to talk with people who don't know me often simply comes down to balancing the fear I have of embarrassment against the fear of failure and its repercussions. For me I either ask or I am not successful. That fear always overrides my anxiety about rejection or being embarrassed
  • Find a role model - need someone to unconsciously affirm our own behaviors
  • Learn to speak
  • Get involved
    • Feel most comfortable when you're doing something you enjoy
    • Being a leader in life takes practice, so practice
  • Get therapy
    • Might help you address your own fears and social anxieties in a more productive way
  • Just do it
    • Meeting with one new person a week
  • FAIL, FAIL AGAIN, FAIL BETTER
  • The Madam of Moxie
    • State the situation. You go right in and hit them with how you see it in the cold light of day, without being to inflammatory or dramatic. You need to know where you stand
    • Communicate your feelings - encounters take on depth and sincerity
    • Deliver the bottom line
    • Use open ended questions - less threatening
  • The networking jerk
  • I made the classic mistakes of youth and insecurity. I was pretty much out for myself. I wore me unquenchable ambition on my sleeve, befriending those above me and ignoring my peers. Too often people put on one ae with their subordinates, another with their boss, and another one yet with their friends.
  • Bust instead of viewing my employees as partners to be wooed in achieving my long term objectives and theirs, I saw them as called upon to carry out my tasks
  • Understand that it's your team's accomplishments and what they do because of you, not for you that will generate your mark as a leader.
  • Don't schmooze
    • Have something to say and say it with passion.
    • Have something to offer when you speak
    • Have they appealed to me emotionally?
    • Have they said they could help me?
    • Is there a commonality between us?
  • Don't rely on the currency of gossip
  • Don't come to the party empty handed
  • Don't treat those under you poorly
  • Be transparent
    • I am what I am
    • People respond with trust when they know you're dealing straight with them.
  • Don't be too efficient
    • Reaching out to others is not a numbers game. Your goal is to make genuine connections with people you can count on.
    • Alternatively, being like can be the most potent, constructive force for getting business done.
    • Those who are best at it don't network, they make friends.
    • The Skill Set
    • Do you homework
      • Spectacular achievement is always preceded by spectacular preparation
      • Winston Churchill would tell us preparation is -if not the key to genius-then at least the key to sounding like a genius.
      • Before I meet with any new people I research who they are and what their business is. Find out what's important to them'
      • All people naturally care, generally above and beyond anything else about what it is THEY do
      • Persons industry or type of job
      • The company's public relations department, call it and explain that you have a meeting and would like some background info
      • Annual reports
      • Understanding what their problems or needs are
      • Get to someone as an individual
      • I had helped organize the conference
      • Arned with knowledge about a person's passions, needs, or interests, you can do more than connect, you'll have an opportunity to bond and impress
      • Alumni network
      • Transform what could be a forgettable encounter into a blossoming friendship
    • Take names
      • I mapped out the most important players
      • My goal was to get to know almost all of them within a year
      • "influential's" journalists, early adopters, industry annalists, potential customers, potential acquirers interested in funding us
      • Network: relatives, friends of relatives, spouses relatives and contacts, current colleagues, members of professional and social organizations, current and former customers and clients, parents of your children's friends, neighbors (past and present), people you went to school with, people you have worked with in the past, people in your religious congregation, former teachers and employers, people you socialize with, people who provide services to you
      • Carry them with me to focus my attention between meetings
      • Lists be geographical location, by industry, by activities (other runners for instance) acquaintance or friend
      • If I read about someone who fell into one of my categories, I'd put him on a list and find out his contact information
      • Other people's lists
      • If you're organized, focused, and a stickler for taking names, there's no one that's out of reach
    • Warming the cold call
      • You're never going to be complete ready to meet new people, there is no perfect moment
      • The trick is to just plunge right in., if you don't believe you are going to get what you want from the call, you probably won't
      • Frequently, people won't get back to you. You have to put your ego aside and persist in calling or writing. Don’t sabotage your efforts by expressing how annoyed you are that they didn't get back to you as quickly as you would have liked. Nor should you apologize for your persistence, just dive in as if you caught him on the first call. Make it comfortable for everyone
      • Someone who is busy is more likely to pick up their own phone at 8 am or 630 om. Plus they're probably less stressed out since they're not facing typical 9-5 pressures
      • Creating and maintaining a sense of optimism and gentle pressure around the appointment is all part of the dance
      • 1 - convey credibility by mentioning a familiar person or institution
      • 2- state your value proposition
      • 3-impart urgency and convenience by being prepared to do whatever it takes whenever it takes to meet the other person on his or her own terms
      • 4-be prepared to offer a compromise that secures a definite follow up at a minimum
      • Having a mutual friend or even acquaintance will immediately make you stand out from the other anonymous individuals vying for a piece of someone's time.
      • Drafting off the brands of others, whether personal references or organizations is a helpful tactic to get past someone's initial reluctance
      • When you mention someone both of you have in common, all of a sudden the person you're calling has a obligation not only to you but also to the friend of associate you just mentioned
      • Get a perspective on the person's life that should give you ideas on where a mutual contact might be found. What sports do they play? What nonprofits do they care about? Do you know other people involved in similar causes?
      • State your value:
        • It's all about them, what can you do for them?
        • Selling is, solving another's person's problems. And you can only do that when you know what those problems are.
        • I can cut through the clutter of other cold calls be personalizing my call with specific information that shows I'm interested enough in their success to have done some homework
      • Talk a little, say a lot. Make it quick, convenient, and definitive
        • Impart both a sense of urgency and a sense of convenience.
        • But also don't talk too much
        • Don't ever talk at someone. Give them time to come along with you
        • Offer a compromise
          • Book: Robert Cialdini The psychology of Persuasion
          • Try for a lot, it will help you settle for what it is you really need
    • Managing the gatekeeper, artfully
      • Make the gatekeeper an ally rather than an adversary
      • The next day I called to say thanks for arranging such a wonderful meeting (to the assistant)
      • Always respect the gatekeepers power. Treat them with the dignity they deserve. If you do, doors will open for you to even the most powerful decision makers. What does it mean to treat them with dignity? Acknowledge their help. Thank them by phone, flowers, a note.
    • Never eat alone
      • Keep your social and conference and event calendar full. Must work hard to remain visible and active among your ever budding network of friends and contacts
      • When your network is set, your goals written down, you'll find plenty of hours during the day to do what needs to be done.
      • Sometimes I'll take potential employees for a workout and conduct the interview over a run. Ask a few employees to share a car ride to the airport.
      • The value of a network grows proportional to the square of its size
      • If I'm meeting with someone whom I don't know that well, I might invite someone I do know just to make sure the meeting does not become a waste of tie. Mentees, for instance get a special kick out of sitting in on such meetins and it can be a great learning opportunity. It gets them face time with me, they get a chance to see business in action, and I make sure our reason for the meeting gets accomplished. In most cases they ned up contributing as well. Don't under estimate young people's ability to find creative new insights.
    • Share your passions
      • The first class section on an airplane. Flying first class is not something most people can afford, but there's na interesting camaraderie among those front seats that you won't find back in coach. To begin with, there are always a number of movers and shakers up front, in close quarters for hours at a time. They assume that you are too, important. They often seek to quench their curiosity about who you are and why you're as dumb as they are to pay such an inflated price. I can't tell you how many valuable clients and contacts I've met during a conversation struck up during an in-flight meal. (by the way this is the only acceptable time to bother you seat mate.
      • Makes sent that events and activities where you'll thrive are those built around interests you're most passionate about.
      • It's astonishing how much more you can learn about someone when you are both doing something you enjoy.
      • I don't believe there has to be a rigid line between our private and public lives.
      • She writes of the new and exciting things she's working on or about her family. Annual newsletter
      • Meeting times:
        • Cup of coffee, quick out of the office and great way to meet someone new
        • Conferences
        • Share a workout or hobby
        • Early breakfast lunch drinks after work or dinner. Nothing like food to break to ice
        • Special event, theater, book signing, concert
        • Entertaining at home. Dinner parties,….sacred
    • Follow up or fail
      • The follow up I remember best is the one I get first
      • Follow up is the key to success in any field
      • Give yourself between twelve and twenty four hours after you meet someone to follow up.
      • Cite something in particular we talked about in the conversation, shared hobby, joke, business interest
      • To remind me in a month's time to drop the poerson another email just to keep in touch
      • Why go to all the trouble of meeting new people if you're not going to work on making them a part of your life?
      • Always reiterates the commitments everyone has nmade, and aske when a second follow up meeting can be arranged.
      • Clip relevant articles and send them to people in your network
      • Shows you're thinking about them and the issues they are facing.
      • Tips:
        • Always express your gratitude
        • Include an item of interest from meeting or conversation
        • Reaffirm whatever commitments you both made
        • Be brief and to the point
        • Address the thank you note to the person by name
        • Use email and snail mail
        • Timeliness is key
        • Don't wait till the holidays
        • Follow up with those who were the go between for you and someone else
    • Be a conference commando
      • Prvide a forum to meet the kind of like minded people who an help you fulfill your mission nd goals
      • Stems from an all too common misperception that conferences are places to find insight
      • Find out who is the main contact for putting together the conference. Put in a phone call. Their person responsible for these kinds of events is generally overworked and stressed out. I like to call these people in a few months ahead of the event and say I'm really looking forward to the conference you're putting together. I'm interested in helping make this year's event a smash hit. How can I help?
      • Calm yourself. First you should know that giving speeches is one of the easiest and most effective ways to get yourself, your business, and your ideas seen heard or and remembered and you don't need to be Tony Robbins to find yourself a forum of people willing to hear you out.
      • Who says you can't arrange your own dinner while at the conference, or put together an informal discussion on a particular topic that matters to you?
      • Identify information the people around you would like to know, and come prepared. Might be trade gossip, the best local restaurants, private parties, et.
      • Most people think a conference is a good time to market their wares. They rush from room to room desperately trying to sell themselves. But a commando knows that you hve to get people to like you first. T he sales come later. In the follow discussions you have after the conference. Now is the time to begin to build trust and a relationship.
      • Most people continue to sit in the same seats throughout the conference.
      • Enter the room, step to the right. Survey the room. See who is there. You want other people to see you. - Kissinger
    • Connecting with connectors
      • It's not necessarily strong contacts, like family and close friends, that prove the most powerful; to the contrary, often the most important people in our network are those who are acquaintances.
      • Many of your closest friends and contacts go to the same parties, generally do the assume work, and exist in roughly the same world as you do. That's why they seldom know information that you don't already know.
      • Your weak ties generally occupy a very different world than you do. Different people, different worlds, with access to a whole inventory of knowledge and information unavailable to you and your close friends.
      • Gladwell: acquaintances represent a source of social power and the more acquaintances you have, the more powerful you are.
      • We know them well enough to give them a call. Once you become friendly with a super connector, you're only two degrees away from the thousands of different people we know.
      • Super connectors:
        • Restaurateurs
          • All you have to do is reach out and go there often enough
          • Become a regular. Make a point of meeting the staff
        • Headhunters
        • Lobbyists
        • Fundraisers
          • Tend to know everybody, generally well liked. Can open doors to a whole new set of contacts
        • Public relations people
        • Politicians
        • Journalists
          • The right exposure can make a company or turn a nobody into a somebody
          • Relatively unknown…therefore accessible
        • Connect: Connect with the connectors.
    • Expanding your circle
    • The art of small talk
      • Safety, in conversation, business, or life, generally produces "safe" (boring) results
      • The real winners, those with astounding careers, warm relationships, and unstoppable charisma, are those people who put it all out there and don't waste a bunch of time and energy trying to be something or someone they're not. Charm is simply a matter of being yourself. Your uniqueness is your power
      • The best way to become good at small talk is not to talk small at all.
      • A smile says "I'm approachable"
      • Balance eye contact. (70-100% of the time)
      • Unfold your arms and relax.
      • Nod your head and lean in, but without invading other's space
      • Touching is a powerful act
      • Be sincere - the surest was to become special in other's eyes is to make them feel special
      • Be prepared to have something to say. Keep up with current events. Cultivate some niche interest. A single narrow specialty (cooking, golf, stamps) for which you have passion will have surprising expansive powers.
      • Share your passion but don't preach it
      • Adjust how open or closed that window was depending on with whom you were speaking. Johari window….need to have window open the same amount as who you are talking to.
      • What's the cadence of their speech? How loudly do they talk? What's their body language? By adjusting your behavior to mirror the person you are talking to, he'll automatically feel more comfortable.
      • Make a graceful exit - I'll mention something meaningful that was said in the course of our conversation and say "there are so many wonderful people here tonight, I'd feel remiss if I didn't at least try and get to know a few more of them. OR I'm going to get another drink, would you like one? Link groups….(sets? Pickup theory)..I just ran into some people you should meet. Come on over.
      • Small talk needs to end on an invitation to continue the relationship.
      • Learn to listen - should seek first to understand and then to be understood (7 habits)
      • Take the initiative and be the first person to say hello. This demonstrates confidence and immediately show your interest in the other person. When the conversation starts don't interrupt. Use your whole body in engaging the person you're talking with
      • If all else fails "you're wonderful, tell me more"
      • Book: Dale Carnegie, how to win friends and influence people
        • Become genuinely interested in people
        • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
        • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
        • Smile
        • Talk in terms of the other person's interests
        • Give honest and sincere appreciation
    • Turning connections into compatriots
    • Health wealth and children
      • When you understand someone else's mission, you hold the key to opening the door to what matters most to them.
      • What motivations drive that person. Often comes down to one of three things: making money, finding love, or changing the world. You laugh, most people do when confronted with the reality of their deepest desires.
      • There is only one way to get anybody to do anything do you know what it is? This is far from a trivial question. Business is, after all, the ability to motivate a group of individuals to move an idea from concept to reality; to take a theory and make it a practice; to gain the buy-in of your employees and colleagues; to encourage others to execute your plans
      • The only way to get people to do anything is to recognize their important and thereby make them feel important
      • Every man I meet is my superior in some way. Everyone has something to teach you, whether they know it or not
      • There are three things in this world that engender deep emotional bonds between people. They are health, wealth and children.
      • Our more basic needs must be satisfied before our higher needs can be addressed
      • The highest human need said Maslow, is for self-actualization-the desire to become the best you can be.
      • In addressing those three issues you accomplish two things: you help someone fulfill those needs they most need met, and you allow them the opportunity to move up the pyramid of needs to tackle some of their higher needs.
    • Social arbitrage
      • Stop driving yourself-and everyone else-crazy thinking about how to make yourself successful. Start thinking about how you're going to make everyone around you successful.
        • I wanted to work more hours, meet more partners, be on the biggest projects solving the biggest problems and I wanted to do it all NOW because I was desperate to make a name for myself. In the wake of my ambition a whole lot of people didn't llike me. And at deloitte, as in all organizations, it isn't easy getting things done when your peers dislike you.
      • The first thing I think is "how can my network help"
      • This is social arbitrage at work. And the first key is, don't wait to be asked, just do it.
      • It's sort of a career karma. How much you give to the people you come into contact with determines how much you'll receive in return. In other words, if you want to make friends and get thigs done, you have to put yourself out to do things for other people, things that require time energy and consideration
      • It's about getting what you want and making sure that people who are important to you get what they want first. Often that means fixing up people who would never have had a chance to meet.
      • Who you know determines how effectively you can apply what you know. Getting things done requires having the right kind of relationships.
      • You should hear "problem" as a practitioner of social arbitrage, you think "need to find a solution". If you don't have any personal advice, the solution will come from asking yourself, "how can my network of friends and contacts help?
      • Get on the phone and ask them if they have any advice, or if they used any books or articles to help them through the process. Now pass it on.
      • To paraphrase Dale Carnegie: you can be more successful in two months by becoming really interested in other people's success than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in your own success.
    • Pinging - all the time
      • People you're contacting to create a new relationship need to see or hear your anme in at least three modes of communication (say email, phone and face to face) before there is a substantive recognition
      • Once you have gained some early recognition, you need to nurture a developing relationship with a phone clal or email at least once a month
      • If you want to transform a contact into a friend, you need a minimum of two face to face meetings out of the office.
      • Maintaining a secondary relationship requires two to three pings per year
      • Outlook categories:
        • Personal - good friends and social acquaintances
        • Customers
        • Prospects
        • Business associates - reserved for people I'm actively involved with professionally. either doing business with them currently or ttrying to do business with them
        • Aspirational contacts - people I'd like to get to know or I've met briefly and want to establish a better relationship
      • The question now is how often do you contact each person on the list….1,2,3 system
        • 1 have yet to solidify the relationship with at least three forms of communication. Keep a note on the last time I contacted them and how. Switch up between emails and calls etc
        • 2 is "touch base " people. People I know well or casual acquaintances. Get a quarterly call or email include in mass emails about my business
        • 3 are people I don't know well and am unable to devote any significant energy to pinging. Met in passing, but ended up in the address book. Reach out to this group once a year.
        • Always try to make the message as personal as possible
    • Find anchor tenants and feed them
      • It was in those days that I learned how powerful the art of throwing dinner parties could be in creating wonderful memories and strengthening relationships in the process. Today I can safely say my strongest links have been foged at the table. The companionable effects of breaking bread, not to mention drinking a few glasses of wine, bring people together.
      • We all have an established peer set. But if you only hve dinner parties with the same people, your cicle of relationship will never grow. At the same time, we're confronted with a small obstacle. Randomly inviting strangers especially strangers who hold a level or prestige and experience above your own peer set, is rarely effective. These people want to hang around people of their own background, experience, or social status.
      • Solution: anchor tenants
      • Their value comes from the simple fact that they are in relation to one's core group of friends, different. They know different people, have experienced different things, and thus have much to teach.
      • Yuou'll discover who these people are by paying attention to your friends stories and taking notice of the one or two names that continually pop up.
      • Landing an anchor tenant isn't about entertaining your dinner party regulars. They'll come no matter what. But an anchor allows you to reach out beyond your circle in subsequent invitations and pull in people who wouldn't otherwise attend.
      • Journalists, I've found, are terrific anchor guests. They aren't well paid (suckers for free meal) profession has intrigue, always looking for good material. They are good conversationalists and many enjoy an opportunity to get thir ideas heard by someone who might publicize them to a larger audience. Artists and actors famous or not fall into the same category.
      • Invitation list needs to be a mix o professional folks I want to do business with today, contacts I aspire to do business with down the road, and those I call "light attractors"-guest who are energetic, interesting, and wiling to speak their mind.
      • Six to ten guest, I've found is the optimal number to invite to dinner
      • I also invite an extra six or so people to pop in before or come after for drinks and dessert
      • You get a 20 to 30 percent acceptance rate because of scheduling difficulties. When someone says they cannot come because of another dinner or engagement, I often suggest they come before the dinner for drinks and appetizers, or even after, for dessert and drinks.
      • When most dinner parties tend to slip and people begin to look at their watches thinking about what time they have toget up in the morning, the energy level spikes with the new group.
      • Thursdays are wonderful days for dinner parties, doesn't cut into weekend plans, and late enough in the week
      • Ideas:
        • Create a theme
        • Use invitation…at least a month in advance
        • Don't be a kitchen slave…order or hire or cook in advance
        • Create atmosphere
          • Candles, flowers, dim lighting, anmd music set a good mood. Nice centerpiece
          • Forget being formal
            • KISS…good food, good people, lots of wine, good conversation. I always under dress so no one else feels they did.
            • Don't seat couples together.
            • Match people who may have a commune interest but who don't know each other
            • Relax - guest take cues from the host
    • Trading up and giving back
    • Be interesting
      • As access to consumers grows, so does consumer power.
      • To count less on big broadcast advertising and more on building personalized loyalty between clients and their customers.
      • When someone comes up to me and thanks me I ask questions. When they are met with "oh I don't know or I just think what you said was great" I think, it was fantastic talking with you, but I've got some bathroom tiles that need cleaning. How can you talk to someone when they have nothing to say?
      • How can you offer your company or your network anything of value if you have not thought about how you want to stand out and differentiate yourself in building that relationship?
      • Be interesting!
      • Squeeze a little time into your schedule to keep up with what's going on in the world. Pay attention to interesting tidbits and work to remember them so that you can pass them on to people you meet.
      • People don't only hire people they like, they hire people that they think can make them and their companies better.
      • You need to be aware of intellectual property, and what you have to say that others might benefit from. It shows you're interested and involved in the world around you.
      • To move others, you have to speak beyond yourself
      • Being interesting isn't just about learning how to become a good conversationalist - you need a well thought out point of view.
      • Being interesting and having content are very different
      • Being known is just notoriety. But being known for something is entirely different. That's respect. You have to believe in something for people to believe in you.
      • It's evolution toward relationship marketing.
      • Find a hook that could transform the company's current lack of sales while also generating broader intrigue in the marketplace and really create a market
      • I started as I always do by immersing myself in the subject
      • Taking all the disparate dots of information and connecting them in a way others had not.
      • Creativity in business is often nothing more than making connections that everyone else has almost thought of. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, just attach it to a new wagon,
      • I get other interested parties-employees, colleagues and insiders-to help me create a wild scenarios and ask seemingly absurd questions
      • I've never met a journalist with a gatekeeper. More over I've never had my calls go unreturned after leaving a message that said "I've got the inside scoop on how the gaming industry is going to revolutionize marketing. I've appreciated your work for a long time now, I believe you are the right person to break this story."
        • Most of the time the story doesn't even involve my company or me…just building the credibility I'll need when the day comes to make my own pitch.
        • I never fail to get press. The answer is that I understand and give them what they need: great stories.
        • Have you ever picked up the phone and actually talked to a reporter about why you think what you do is so special? You cannot outsource this to PR; journalists deal with thousands of PR people a day. Who's going tobe more passionate and more informed than you? You're the expert on what you do
        • You can't replace the people who day in and day out offer the kind of content or unique ways of thinking that promise their company an edge
        • I'd immerse myself in it, getting to know all the thought leaders pushing the idea and all the literature available. I'd then distill that into a message about the idea's broader impact to others and how it could be applied in the industry I worked in. That was the content. Becoming an expert was the easy part. I simply did what experts do: I thought, wrote, and spoke about my expertise.
        • A few months into my job I volunteered my "expertise" citing my background (from a total of two undergraduate classes I'd taken). With one stroke, I became one of the three go to guys
        • I only really became an expert once I started trying to teach the discipline
        • Becoming an expert
          • Get out in front and analyze the trends and opportunities on the cutting edge
            • Foresight gives you and your company the flexibility to adapt to change. Creativity allows you to take advantage of it
            • Identify the people in your industries who always seem to be out in front. Use all the relationship skills you've acquired to connect with them
            • Read everything you can
            • Subscribe to magazines, buy books, and talk to the smartest people you can find. You'll start making connections others aren't
          • Ask seemingly stupid questions
            • The power of innocence in business is wonderful
            • For years the people running the companies that produced video games believed they were in the entertainment business. I asked, what if we're really in the marketing business?
          • Know yourself and your talents
            • The trick is not to work obsessively on the skills and talents you lack, but to focus and cultivate your strengths so that your weaknesses matter less
          • Always learn
          • Stay healthy
          • Expose yourself to unusual experiences
            • Learn about things that are out of the mainstream
            • Take a deep and boundless curiosity about tings outside your own profession and comfort zone
          • Don't get discouraged
            • If you're going to be creative cutting edge and out of the mainstream, you'd better get used to rocking the boat. And guess what-0-when you're rocking the boat, there will always be people who will try and push you off. Passion keeps you going through the rough times
            • Focus on the results and keep your eyes open for what is happening on the edges of your industry
          • Know the new technology
            • Understand the impact of technology on your business and be able to leverage it to your benefit. Adopt a techno geek, or at least hire or sire one.
          • Develop a niche
            • Think of several areas where your company underperforms and choose to focus on the one area that is least attended to.
          • Follow the money
            • The bottom line for your content has to be: this will make us more money. All great ideas meaningless in business until someone pays for it.
        • Message must be both simple and universal
    • Build your brand
      • Understand that importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: me inc.
      • Good personal brands do three highly significant things for your network of contacts: they provide a credible distinctive and trustworthy identity. They project a compelling message. They attract more and more people to you and your cause as you'll stand out in an increasingly cluttered world. As a result you will find it easier than ever to win new friends and have more of a say in what you do and where you work.
      • Create your own micro-equivalent of the Nike swoosh
      • Few things infuriate me more than when people say they're helpless or even indifferent to distinguishing themselves from their peers and colleagues.
      • I went out of my way to take on project no one wanted and initiated projects no one had though of doing. I mailed my boss and sometimes my boss's boss ideas. And I did it almost every day
      • Flirting is the promise of sex with no guarantee. A successful brand, then, is the promise and guarantee of a mind shattering experience each and every time.
      • To become a brand you've got to become relentlessly focused on what you do that adds value. You can add value to whatever job you're doing now. Can you do what you do faster and more efficiently? If so why not document what it would take to do so and offer it to your boss as something all employees might do? Do you initiate new projects on your own and in your spare time? Do you search out ways to save or make your company more money?
      • You can't do meaningful work that makes a difference unless you're devoted to learning, growing and stretching your skills.
      • You have to be able to redefine yourself. That means going above and beyond what's called for.
      • The key generally comes down to a few simple things: shake things up! Find your vlue! Obsess on your image! Turn everything into an opportunity to build your brand.
      • A brand is nothing less than everything everyone thinks of when they see or hear your name. The best brands, like the most interesting people have a distinct message.
      • Identify your uniqueness and how you can put that uniqueness to work. It's not a specific tasks so mush as the cultivation of a mind set.
      • Take your skills, combine them with your passions and find out where in the market or within your own company they can best be applied. Your message is always an offshoot of your mission and your content. After you've sat down and figured out who you want to be and you've written goals in some version you can build a brand perception that supports all this.
      • Your positioning message should include a list of words that you want people to use when referring to you. W riting those words down are a big first step in having others believe them . Ask your most trusted friend what words they would use to describe you for good and for bad. Ask them what are the most important skills and attributes you bring to the table.
      • Stand out! Style matters/ whether you like it or not, clothing letterheads hairstyles, business ads, office space, and conversational style are noticed. Big time. The design of your brand is critical. Buy some new clothes, take an honest look at how you present yourself. Ask others how they see you. How do you wish to be seen
      • You have to craft an appearance to the outside world that will enhance the impression you want to make. Everyone see what you appear to be, few really know what you are (Machiavelli)
      • Why not create a personal web site? A web site is a terrific cheap marketing tool for you r brand and a great way to force you to really articulate who are you
      • Little choices make big impressions
      • Never ask for more pay until after you've been doing the job successfully and become invaluable
    • Broadcast your brand
      • You've got to extend our reach and level outside recognition. That's how you'll become an authority not just in your company but in your industry.
      • If you hide your accomplishments they'll remain hidden. If you don't promote yourself, no one else will.
      • Journalists do less sleuthing for their stories than you'd imagine. They get a majority of their stories from people that have sought them out and not the other way around.
      • Once you get written about, other reporters will come calling,. Assigned you as a subject, they'll do a quick google search, and presto: they'll find you are al already cited source and will seek you out to cite you again.
      • Influentials are what marketing wonks call those people who can ignite brand buzz. Will adopt a cool product early on and infect everyone else with the bug. It's imperative that you identify those people and get your brand in front of them
      • More often than not, you ill have to start small. You'll be forced to focus on your local paper, high school and college newsletters, or industry trade journals. Or perhaps just a white paper listed on some consulting company's web site,. The point is toe light the fire.
      • You need to impart a sense of urgency and make the message timely. Reporters continually ask "but why is it important NOW? If you can't answer that sufficiently, your article will wait.
      • I began to rewrite the intros to my piece each week, to relate to something that was in the news at the time.
      • Once you light a fire and get the buzz going, you want to get your story in front of journalists…they get fed up with nitwits who pitch articles without substance
      • If you can help them do their job better or easier, they're going to love you
      • Have to start tody building relationships with the media before you have a story you'd like them to write. Send them information. Meet them for coffee., call regularly to stay in touch. Give them inside scoops on your industry, establish yourself as a willing and accessible source of information, and offer to be interviewed for print, radio, or TV., never say no comment.
      • When I didn't know something, I was sure to pass him on to the person who did (BETTER IDEA!!!!: find out yourself and get back to them). If you are constantly apologizing with "well I am not the expert" people will believe you and wonder why you wasted their time.
      • You can't force feed or pressure a good journalist. Any attempt to do so will srurely end your professional relationship. The best journalists are almost always the most ethical
      • Sometimes when media wants to write and the story you think they should write is a very different thing
      • If a reporter calls you states his story and the angle he's taking, you can be sure you'll be used as an example to buttress his angle. No matter what you say, that's the story he'll write
      • Start making calls to the reporters who cover your industry. Have lunch with the,. Of something timely occurs around your content, send a press release. There's no secret behind press releases. They're nothing more than two or hree paragraphs describing what's memorable about your storey. It's that easy.
      • Journalists need you as much as you need them
      • Nothing infuriates reporters and editors more than to get a pitch from someone who clearly has no idea what their publication is about or who their audience is. They can only sell more issues or get better ratings by serving their specific audience. "Listen, I'm a devoted reader of this magazine, I've got a tory for you that I know your audience will be interested in, as I've been thinking about it for a long time. Read their articles, figure out what they cover and what kinds of stories their publications like to run
      • To make your pitch sound fresh and original, find an innovative slant.
      • Never blow off an interview and try to facilitate the contacts they'll need to produce a good story.
      • Tell me why I should write about you in ten seconds or less. If it takes you more than ten seconds to pitch your content a television producer will assume you won't be able to get your point across to an impatient audience.
      • Learn to be brief-in both writings and phone pitches
      • Pick the three most interesting points about your story and make them fast, colorful and catchy
      • Don't be annoying! If a pitch of mine get rejected I'll ask what else it needs to make it publishable. Sometimes it will bnever be right in the editor's eyes, but other times you can answer a few more questions or dig deeper and repitch the story. It is okay to be aggressive, but mind the signals and back off when its' time.
      • Even if you're not quoted or you say something off the record, a reporter will use your words to colo the slant of the article.
      • All your efforts at publicity promotion and branding need to feed into your mission.
      • Even when I feel a piece did not do me justice, I thank the write for their hard work. Send a thank you note!
      • Connecting your work with a known entity acts as a defacto slant
      • Media wants recognizable faces in their pages
      • Once published, send the article around.. Give it to your alumni magazine, update your class notes, use the article to get even more press coverage. Keeps you on everyone's radar.
    • The write stuff
      • If you have any writing skills at all. And yes the good news is we all have some level of skill, you can get a close to almost anyone by doing a piece on them or with them, even if it's for your local newspaper.
      • Everyone can be an author. And writing articles can be a great boost for your career. It provides instant credibility and visibility.
      • I asked her how I too could become a writer. Write. There is no secret, writing is tough. But people of all talents at all levels do it. The only thing necessary to become a writer is a pen, some paper and the will the express yourself. Want to write something? Write it. Want to get published? Call an editor and tell him you want to submit an article. Your first time may be a flaming failure, nothing in life is a sure thing, but that's how people do it.
      • Busy people higher up in the ladder often don't have the extra time to work alone on something like an article. Instead they choose to either contribute their expertise or work with others to get it done.
      • But now when you call others to interview them, you're not just joe shmoe, you're joe shmoe calling about an article targeted for the Gazette or something like that.
      • You're offering value through the publicity you'll potentially garner.
    • Getting close to power
      • Why a smart startup company will seek to populate its board of directors with recognized business personalities who can impart credibility to a new business.
      • The ones who get ahead are usually those who know how to make highly placed people feel good about having them around.
      • Trust is the essential element of mixing with powerful and famous people-trust that you'll be discreet; trust that you have no ulterior motives behind your approach; trust that you'll deal with them as people and not as starts; and basically trust that you feel like a peer who deserves to be engaged as such. The first few moments of an encounter is the litmus test for such a person to size up whether he or she can trust you in these ways or not.
      • Stay away from their fame and focus, instead on their interests.
      • Conferences
      • Non profit boards - find 4-5 issues that yare important to you and then support them locally. Become a board member yourself and sit side by side with these people. But be sure you care aand indeed want to help the cause.
      • Sports - meet people in the gym, or learn golf.
    • Build it and they will come
      • The kicker: because I started the organization, I was president. Now we had to create, run, and finance this enterprise. But the hard part was done. We were a credible institution and from here we all just rolled up our sleeves and got to the nitty gritty work, which is also critical.
      • If you can't find an outfit to join that allows you to make a difference then recognize what you do have to offer, your particular expertise, contacts, interests, or experience. Rally people behind them and make your own difference.
      • Meet in a specified space (even if that’s in cyber space). You'll benefit from belonging to something larger than yourself. You and your fellow members will be strengthened by a collective identity.
    • Never give into hubris
      • Don't let a little vanity seep into your actions or excite more expectations or create a deeper sense of entitlement. Don't get your phd in master connecting and then for some reason forget all the classes and values that were your foundation.
      • Never sell beyond the close.
      • Never let the prospect of a more powerful or famous acquaintance make you lose sight of the fact that the most valuable connections you have are those you've already made at all levels.
      • I don't try to be anyone I wasn't. I didn't overstretch and pretend to know more than I did. Many people believe that's what it takes when reaching out to those above you, but in truth that often results in making a jerk out of yourself.
      • Mentoring is a very specific activity that requires people to check their ego at the door, hold back from resenting other people's success and consciously strive to build beneficial relationships whenever the opportunity arises.
      • Learn in your twenties, earn in your thirties, as the saying goes
      • A relationship needs equal parts utility and emotion
      • All I really expect is sincere gratitude and to see them apply what they are learning.
    • Find mentors, find mentees, repeat
    • Balance is bs
    • Dividing my life between professional and personal sphere no longer made sense. I realized that what made you successful in both worlds were other people. Real connecting insists that you bring the same values to every relationship
    • Welcome to the connected age
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